He Comes For Me

What an amazing few days its been in my heart.  I've walked with God for many years, but have never experienced the depth of love and acceptance from Him that I have in the past few days. To be honest, I've always had a hard time understanding exactly what GRACE even means, much less leaning on it in a tangible way.  

In my experience, you screw up - you get whacked, you straighten up and try to do better so you don't get whacked again.  Isn't that about the best it gets?  No.  Let me say it another way... NO. That is not the best it gets.  

I found myself on Tuesday night quite at the end of myself - a good place to be, I'm told, but not a place I want to visit often.  I had never felt more alone and was staring down the barrel of some circumstances that I just don't like.  Some pain that I just don't want to bear anymore. Some forgiveness that I need to extend, and even more that I need to receive. In other words, I was feeling completely desolate and abandoned.  I went to bed and called out to Him with one of those "If-You-don't-come-for-me-I-won't-make-it" prayers.  

Here is what He gave me:  Psalm 18.

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.  He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."  HE is my rock.  Not my friends, not even the ones who really are friends. HE is my shield, my stronghold.  Sure, I could have used a hug this week, but no one else can do for me what He did.

"The cords of of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me."  That's where I was Tuesday night.  Next comes the part that knocked me off my feet.

"The earth trembled and quaked and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because He was angry."  Oh no, I've done it now.  Now not only am I in trouble, but God is mad at me too.  The passage goes on to describe just how pissed off He is... its scary really.  

Wait - what's this??:  "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters.  He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who were too strong for me."  He wasn't angry with me!  He was angry that I was getting pummeled.  He was the big brother coming around the corner and seeing his little sister getting pushed in the mud.  He was the mama at the park who sees her toddler getting shoved off the slide by the 5th grader. (Poor 5th grader).  

He came.  For me.  For only me.  There wasn't a "group" of us in trouble, so He felt like the trip was worth the expense.  It was just me - alone and afraid.  And it was still worth it to Him.

"He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me."

I spent Wednesday in His embrace, being spoken to tenderly by Him and having my wounds cared for and loved on by Him.  I've never been loved so completely.  And everything I felt like I wasn't getting was given to me; multiplied many times over.

The chapter gets even cooler because not only does He rescue, He doesn't leave us in our weakened condition, only to be pummeled again.  Verse 30 begins the story of how He then trains us for battle.  He teaches us to fight back.

The Psalmist ends the chapter by expressing his joy over experiencing God's beauty and presence.  Its a joy that trumps difficult circumstances.  Big time.